Ich bin ein Berliner

Hallo Welt!

So Amanda needs an emotions update to catch everyone up. With forty days under my belt I think my body has hit a wall. Not like a "i'm dead, i can't go forward" wall just like a "hello, amanda, this is your body, please stop for me hot second and then we'll be great, thanks!" wall. 

I can only imagine that Jesus felt the same way after wandering around the desert for 40 days. This is exactly the same situation. So I hope those of you at home aren't (1) judging me for not working hard enough (2) worried about me because body is tired. 

Quick update: my phone has been keeping track of my steps/miles (who knew it did that) and at this point I've clocked in at about 350 miles walking so far, so a little less than 10 miles a day everyday...legs need an oil change or to rotate wheels or something. 

So my first day here I got myself situated and figured out my life/laundry and then made it to Humbolt Universitat, but as soon as I got there I didn't feel "well" and not like death life threatening illness (dad) but I wasn like hmm talking to people could go south really fast should I throw up on them. So I walked it off and felt better by the end of the day to have dinner with a girl in my hostel room. 

The second day I was going to get my train ticket to Eichstatt (I WILL NOT MISS ANOTHER TRIP DAMN IT) and then went to head back to Humbolt. It was a beautiful day *~walked in the wrong direction*~went to the wrong train station *~got to train station for host in Eich to tell me to get a bus ticket instead*~walk to bus station*~not actually a bus station*~just buys ticket online*~feels a lot of feelings about how much time was wasted in this journey*~eats more currywurst*~is extremely sunburnt*~accidentally walked 15 miles*~nothing was accomplished. BUT MAN WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY AND A BEAUTIFUL CITY TO BE LOST IN (positive attitudes- I don't have perfect control over my life and I'm not going to pretend I do). It was a long, lonely day, but I am getting better at not talking to people for a few days at a time, also I'll be meeting up with another host tomorrow so I can live. 

Some of the pictures from my day of being infinitely lost but happy about it:

the river Spree!!!

there were just a lot of trees

So today I woke up in a very hot room (see the blog post "strange bedfellows" where I talk about all the weird things people do in hostels/give the lowdown on my living situations...I think it's entertaining), with sunburn, and a throbing knee and thought "yup, might need to take it easy today" then check my messages and my host in Bavaria sent me a message saying that when i get to Eichstatt there is going to be a pickup soccer game and I should play (because I'm so sporty) and deal with the rage of the Germans who are upset about the women's World Cup game. Awesome. So today will be a day of rest, back to Jesus in the desert theme, he was sunburnt too, probably. 

Now that that is all out of the way with the big take aways (1) I'm fine (2) sleep when you're dead is not reasonable advice...probably rest your body now so you can finish strong (3) my legs are jacked I can move on to some of the happenings of Berlin. Because while I am physically out I have read up on somethings and have some truly inspired insights (ramblings of a delusional woman.)

Okay so for those of you who don't know me you should probably know that Germany is like my favorite country. It is so interesting and specifically Bavarian (where I'll be heading tomorrow) because traditional Bavarian culture is hands down the cutest culture in the world. But Berlin is truly an amazing city, the first time I came here was about six years ago, I was traveling with a concert band of other students and this is when I really started to love history. I was blown away by Check Point Charlie and confused about the amount of suffering that happened in this city and how I just didn't know about it. And I think a lot of Americans don't know about it. Germany has such a sad recent history  and any time you talk to any American they just say "haha we won the war." Which drives me absolutely insane because if you take a step back to World War II you had three options (1) you were brainwashed (2) you were killed (3) you lived in fear ....NO ONE WHO WAS SOUND OF MIND LIKED THIS REGIME. No one. Families had to watch their sons be brainwashed and if they spoke out they died. Their culture, their freedom was stolen from them. This war completely and utterly destroyed Germany including the spirits of the people who lived...those who survived despit living in fear for all of those years, working under cover, thsoe who were able to recover their minds after the Nazi regime. So, when I hear people talking about how "we won the war" to the German people I just see the German people think back to how much they unwillingly lost. They were looking for economic hope they didn't want what this regime gave. Anyway, thats just my opinion. 

And then there is the Cold War. I know we talk about the Berlin Wall in school but it is honestly just like one of the worst things of the past half century. And America could have done something. Half of this city was held hostage for THIRTY YEARS. and this is like my parents generation, and the generation who is currently in power. I think there is a really strong Zeitgiest here from that time. I think freedom means something different to Berliners. I'm just so amazed at international dipolmacy sometimes. Like, I KNOW WHAT WILL PROVE COMMUNISM IS RIGHT I'M GOING TO BUILD A WALL DOWN THE MIDDLE OF THIS CITY AND PUT LAND MINES AND BRAINWASHED SOLDIERS THERE TO SHOOT ANYONE WHO WANTS TO GO TO THE OTHER SIDE (say to visit family, go to work, hang out). THAT'LL SHOW THEM! HAHA! IM A MAN THIS IS WHAT MEN DO! (sorry men, I know you aren't all like this).

What a world.   

so, yes, the Berlin Wall is terrifying to me and the thought of it coming down just makes me cry. Things that make me cry for another reason *~it has become a point of tourist speculation~* Like there are some really, really good and important museums here and very informative signs everywhere. But there is also a giant building that says "THE BERLIN WALL, SEE IT IN PANORAMA VIEW!!" so yeah, that's appealing to the Americans and I think super disrespectful to the Berliners who have to walk past it everyday. ...I know KG feels the same way about the Roman Colosseum, but this is different, that, at least is an acheologica and architechural wonder that was also used for evil. This wall was just evil.  

Also don't know how I feel about this sign:

(please note that as soon as you enter the American sector you arrive at a McDonalds. I made sure to get it into the picture)

Like, America, why do you need a bigger ego? You did not really help this sitution too much because you let it go on FOR THIRTY YEARS and Gorbechev was the reason it fell, not you. 

So yeah, there is Amanda's version of German/Berlin history for you, whether you wanted it or not. But I think it sets the stage nicely for the Zeitgeist I mentioned earlier. Germany, as a world leader is on top of its game, but it is so cautious. Merkle is not perfect but I think she will be known forever for all she has done for Germany and for Europe. 

IT JUST CUTS THROUGH THE MIDDLE OF A SIDEWALK JUST A RANDOM STREET AND YUP NO MORE

Reminder: the wall came down in 1989 that is 26 years ago. I'm 22. This newly unified country having fought and lost and been divided again is now just a few years older than me. Granted West Germany was moving forward without East Berlin/Germany for that time but they were functioning out of Bonn, they didn't even have their real capital. Imagine if we just had to pick up D.C. and put it in Pierre for a bit. 

So if there is one country who is all in on an united Europe its these guys right here. And this is why I think Germany is currently like the best country in the world. To an outsider, Germany is working so hard to be accomadating, to be strong and accepting  and the leaders in innovating a greener world. Germany is smart and Germany works hard. You can feel the pace is much faster here than in the other cities I've been too (close to London, but just feels way less touristy). The buildings are serious but beautiful and open. They fill every open space with greenery. --The river Spree is *clean*-- A lot of things ae going right for Berlin, but they carry the weight of their past and the responsibility of Europe's future...so thats rough. I think we should all be a lot nicer to Germans.